Grace

Oh how I need the grace of God. How many times have I felt lost on this journey we've been on and have pleaded to be found. How often I have been afraid and needed the assurance of a Father who loves without bounds. I am weakened and yet strengthened by these trials and snares. I have learned the humbleness of being grateful for the help of others. It's so much easier to give than receive, but the Lord has needed to show me the complete circle, His circle. We are not meant to be alone during this journey of life. We all will go through thorny brambles and get our knees scraped. We will want to rejoice and shout with happiness, sit in a corner and hug our knees to our chest and cry. What wisdom God had in giving us journey angels. I am so grateful for the many angels that have lifted me up and succored me. I have looked into the eyes of my friends and seen such compassion and love, it has scored my heart. I know what it feels like to feel frustrated at not knowing what to do for someone and feeling helpless when they don't allow me to help. I am learning that part of receiving is allowing those we love to express that love back. It's so hard to be humble. We are trained to think we need to be supermoms, superwomen, tough: we can do it and look good at the same time. I am learning that we don't have all we need all the time and that's OK. We are all apart of a whole, whether it's a marriage, a family, a circle of friends, a ward, a church, a community, a world. We have what makes us unique and special, but we don't have all that is needed. We aren't good with everything, we don't have all talents, we don't have all wisdom, all ideas, all strengths. We need others in our lives to help us with those things we lack. We each take turns giving and receiving, holding and being held, saving and being saved, teaching and being taught. What a different light this sheds for me, one who is so afraid of intimacy and being loved. You girls who know my fearless path understand what a huge leap this is for me. Thank you for the journey you have walked with me. I needed you. Thank you to the dear friends that carry me. Thank you for thinking my load is worth it. Thank you family for loving me and sending me strength through prayers and supportive words. I can't believe how blessed I am. Thank you, my children, for teaching me so many pearls of wisdom. Thank you for loving and trusting me as your mother. Thank you Dad and Mom for teaching me the gospel principles I've needed to cling to get through difficult times. Thank you, dear Audra, for being my sister. You are the other side of my heart and I carry you always. You teach me so much. Thank you Leslie, for being the love of my life, being patient and tender as I learn how to become a better person. How I love you.

Oh how I need the grace of God and how grateful I am to have felt it.

Soup Anyone?

It's soup season, yes, even in Hawaii. Maybe just because I'm craving the fall crispness, but it has been rainy here and a bit more brisk in the morning. Anyway, this is one of my favorite soups. It's from Olive Garden. So easy my cooking school kids made it and loved it!!

Olive Garden Zuppa Toscana
Makes: 6-8 servings

INGREDIENTS
1 lb ground Italian sausage ( I use the spicy Italian sausage and omit the red peppers)
1½ tsp crushed red peppers
1 large diced white onion
4 Tbsp bacon pieces (I use Turkey bacon)
2 tsp garlic puree
10 cups water
5 cubes of chicken bouillon
1 cup heavy cream
1 lb sliced Russet potatoes, or about 3 large potatoes
¼ of a bunch of kale

Saute Italian sausage and crushed red pepper in pot. Drain excess fat, refrigerate while you prepare other ingredients.
In the same pan, saute bacon, onions and garlic for approximately 15 mins. or until the onions are soft.
Mix together the chicken bouillon and water, then add it to the onions, bacon and garlic. Cook until boiling.
Add potatoes and cook until soft, about half an hour.
Add heavy cream and cook until thoroughly heated.
Stir in the sausage.
Add kale just before serving. Delicious!

Here's another good recipe that also looks fancy and fun. Great for fall get-togethers or just a nice meal at home.

Savory Crescent Bundles

Serves 4

I pkg. (3 oz.) softened cream cheese

3 Tbsp. melted butter, divided

2 c. cooked cubed chicken

2 Tbsp. milk

1 Tbsp. chopped chives

I Tbsp. chopped pimientos

1/4 tsp. salt

1/8 tsp. pepper

1 tube (8 oz) refrigerated crescent rolls

1/2 c. Italian seasoned bread crumbs.

Additional chives or thin ribbon

In a mixing bowl, beat cream cheese and 2 Tbsp. of butter until smooth. Stir in chicken, milk, chives, pimientos, salt and pepper. Separate crescent dough into four rectangles; firmly press perforations to seal. Spoon 1/2 c. chicken mixture into center of each rectangle. Bring four corners of dough together and twist; pinch edges to seal. Brush tops with remaining butter. Sprinkle with bread crumbs. Place on an ungreased baking sheet. Bake at 350 degrees for 20-25 minutes or until golden brown. Tie an uncut chive or a thin ribbon around each. Yield: 4 servings

Enjoy!!

Thank You

Thank you to those of you who have written or called expressing your love and compassion to us after the theft. I can't tell you how meaningful those words of support have meant to me. It helps so much to know I am cared about and not alone when our family goes through difficult times. I'm trying to be better at being more open and letting others in (Not really a strong suit of mine.) and you let me feel safe about that. Again, thank you. It was priceless.

We are all doing fine. The kids are still a bit nervous, but I think Les and I handled it pretty good so the kids didn't see us over reacting or too upset. Our main concern was making them feel safe. We learned that several homes near us have been broken into and people have been held at gun point. Again, a tender mercy from Heavenly Father that we were all safe and weren't home when this happened.

Mitchell's First Swim Meet

Saturday we had a GREAT time cheering Mitchell on at his first swim meet. The meet started off with a relay race and Mitchell was the fourth swimmer. By the time it was his turn, his team was in 3rd or 4th. Mitchell was fresh and ready to go and he pulled it out and came up from behind and WON!!! I almost lost my voice screaming so loud. He ended up having to swim the 200 (not his strong point, he's a sprinter), the 100 (tired after the other two races), the 50 (really getting tired now), and another relay (I could see his thinking..."Do I really have to do this again?"). He was so tired he was shaking. Talk about having to work up endurance. This was preseason and was a great opportunity for him to see what he needs to work toward. I love that he's competing against his own time. He did great and I was VERY proud of him. He finished every race. Here's some pictures we took. Enjoy!

Mitchell getting ready on the diving board. THAT is a Mitchell look!!

Gliding through the water.

"I'm sooo tired!!"

What Really Matters

It's 3:41 in the morning my time and I can't sleep. I think I need to write and get some of my thoughts out so I can get some piece of mind. Last night was Mitchell's first swim meet and we all went. It was wonderful to be there to see him swim and to support him as a family. I was really proud of him. On his first relay he was the last swimmer and his team was 4th until his turn and he put on the turbos and won it for his team. We were all screaming and yelling for him. Great moment. I'll post pictures of that later. Unfortunately, this posting isn't about that.

While we were gone, our house was broken into. When we drove up I saw a screen from our front window leaning against the flower bed under the window and had Les stop the car so I could check it out. I walked up to the window and noticed that 7 window glaces (window slats that they use here in Hawaii) were missing from the window. I saw them stashed behind some bushes in the flower bed. I walked to the car and told Les I thought our house had been broken into. We parked the car and carefully walked into our home. Our little TV that some friends of our had given us, the boys' wii was still there, so I kept looking. I went to our front room and there on my carpet were several sets of muddy foot prints coming from the direction on the window. Les and I canvased the rest of the house and I had a feeling to go to my room. As I walked into my room I noticed that my dresser drawers were slightly open. I NEVER leave drawers open. One of my pet peeves. My stomach sank and I opened the top drawer where I keep my jewelry. It was gone. That was the only think in our home that was stolen. My wedding ring, the jewelry I had inherited from my mother (some of it very old from my great grandmother and beyond), some beautiful pieces that Les had sacrificed to get for me that I loved, all gone.

I have to say, I'm not one who is stuck by "things". I am very sentimental and sometimes "things" are tangible reminders of tokens of love. Like my wedding ring. So many memories of that time when Les sacrificed so much to be a strong pillar for me as I had to take care of my family when my mother died. That was our engagement time. Those pieces that helped me feel closer to my mother when I put them on. The only tangible things I have of her now. I know they don't take the place of a person, but being the sentimental gal that I am, somehow it was like linking myself to my past, my heritage.

The ironic thing to all this is that just yesterday I had a conversation with my sister about "Things" and worldly possessions. I really believed that I could walk away from all my things if needed. After all, they are just things. Daily I'm reminded of not having things. Les and I are still sleeping on the floor. We finally were given some beds for the kids from some members (s0 grateful). One of our clients traded some of their advertising for a dresser we have and last put not least we have a little love seat that a member gave us. Our friend Alison gave us a plastic table and chairs so we could have something to sit on when we ate and some dishes. I have been so humbled since coming here. I don't live with "things". I know I can make it without all the conveniences we all have become so accustomed to. Losing all my jewelry took me to another level to see if I really was made of that stuff. I am. I am so saddened by what happened. I will miss those symbols of love, but I still have that love inside me. I am angry for being violated and having my children not feel safe in their home. I was like a pacing wild cat last night as the cop was here taking fingerprints and getting our statement. I wanted to do something to not be a victim, to right the wrong and make my children feel safe. Today we will be gluing those glaces to the slats so no one can ever remove them. We will be getting a motion detector light in the front. Hopefully having the children help with those things will help empower them.

As we keep being tested I keep looking for how I can grow and learn for each experience. Some of these lessons have been the most difficult in my life. I pray my spirit keeps winning and I glean what I'm supposed to from them.

My gratitude today is that none of the children were home, especially alone, when the house was broken into and no one got hurt. None of their things were taken. I'm so grateful for that. I'm grateful to know what really matters. Our relationships and the love we have for one another. That's what we take with us. That's what really matters. I love you, my family and dear friends. Thank you for being my "jewels".

GNC Health Store

Cute Idea for Thanksgiving favors at the Table

These are cute Acorns made from hershey kisses. Here in Hawaii I don't have the real things so I'm going for these.

Put a small amount of frosting or peanut butter on the bottom of the mini nilla wafer and attach the Hershey Kiss. Top with frosting of peanut butter for stem.

So easy, so cute!! Kids will love to help make these.

New Recipes

I found this recipe and can't wait to try it out. I love pumpkin and I love eggnog. This puts them together. I'll let you know how it turns out. I love to try new things at Thanksgiving.

Pumpkin and Eggnog Pie

1 can (15oz) 100% pumpkin
1 1/4 c. prepared eggnog
2/3 c. sugar
1 1/2 tsp pumpkin pie spice (I'll make my own)
1/4 tsp. salt
3 lg. eggs, beaten
1 pie crust
8oz container whipped topping

Directions: Preheat oven to 375 degrees
In large bowl, mix pumpkin, eggnog, sugar, spice, salt, and eggs with whisk until well blended. Place pie crust on cookie sheet, and pour in the pumpkin mixture. (it will come to the top of the pie crust). Place cookie sheet with the pie on the center rack of the oven.
Bake pie for about 1 hour to 1 1/2 hours, or until filling puffs up around edges and center is just set but not puffed. Remove from oven and cool pie completely on wire rack. Refrigerate until ready to serve. Serve topped with dollop of whipped cream sprinkled with nutmeg if desired. Deep leftover refrigerated.

Les LOVES chocolate (me, not so much) so I thought I'd try this pie out too, just for him. It's reminiscent of Mexican Chocolate.

Chocolate Cinnamon Cream Pie

For Crust:
5 Tbsp. unsalted butter, melted
1 1/2 c. cinnamon graham cracker crumbs (from about 12 5x1 1/2" crackers)
2 Tbsp. sugar
1/8 tsp. salt
Directions: Preheat oven to 35o degrees with rack in middle. Stir together all crust ingredients. Press over bottom and up side of a 9" pie plate. Bake until set, 12-15 minutes, then cool.

For Filling:
6 oz. fine-quality bittersweet chocolate (no more than 60% cacao if marked)
2 Tbsp. cornstarch
1/3 c. packed light brown sugar, divided
2 whole large eggs
2 large egg yolks
2 c. whole milk
1/2 c. heavy cream
1/8 tsp. salt
1/2 stick unsalted butter, cut into Tbsp.
1 tsp. pure vanilla extract
Directions: Melt chocolate in a large bowl. Stir together cornstarch and 2 Tbsp. brown sugar in a small bowl. Whisk together whole eggs and yolks in another bowl, then whisk in cornstarch mixture. Stir together milk, cream, salt, and remaining brown sugar in a heavy medium saucepan and bring just to a boil over medium heat. Pour half of milk mixture into egg mixture in a slow stream, whisking, then pour egg mixture into remaining milk mixture. Bring to a boil over medium-low heat, whisking constantly, then boil, whisking, 1 min. Remove from heat and whisk in butter and vanilla. Strain through a fine-mesh sieve into melted chocolate and whisk to combine. Transfer hot filling to crust and chill, it's surface covered with parchment, until filling is cold, about 3 hours.

For Whipped Cream:
1 1/2 c. chilled heavy cream
5 Tbsp. confectioners sugar
1/2 tsp. cinnamon
Directions: Beat cream with confectioners sugar and cinnamon using electric mixer until it holds stiff peaks. Spoon over chilled filling.
Can top with chocolate curls.
* Crust can be baked 2 days ahead and kept, loosely covered with foil, once cooled, at room temp. Pie can be chilled, loosely covered with plastic wrap, (once cold), up to 1 day.

I'm Grateful for Mitchell

Mitchell on his first surfing lesson. Not shabby at all!!


I thought today I'd share some tidbits on my oldest son, Mitchell. He just turned 16, (he's been counting down for 2 years now) and is a junior in high school. He is on the swim team at school and is doing really well, especially since he's never done it before. Next week is his first meet and I am going to be there to cheer him on. He's a bit nervous. He said it was going to be around 5 hours and didn't think we would want to stay that long. I told him no problem, I would just pack up some burritos and we'd be set. (Now you need to understand that me packing burritos is a HUGE joke in our family. I do pack them about every time we go on an adventure. They don't need refrigeration and I love the way the texture the cheese changes to after it's been rolled for a while in aluminum foil.) Anyway, Mitchell gave me a groan of pleaseeee don't do that. I just smiled. I really can't wait to see him swim. He is a natural!!

Mitchell also loves guitar hero. He is usually found after school, before school and weekends trying to get some guitar hero in. I can only take it in small doses however so I do moderate it. He's gotten enough time on it to become an expert level and is anxious to get his guitar out of storage.

Mitchell also likes anything scary. For his birthday all he wanted was to go to a really scary haunted house. I found one here that was supposed to be one of the best in the U.S. He went with his dad and our friend Pete. From what I understand, it wasn't that scary but he did have a group of girls that found him as the "safety zone" while they went through it. Hmmmmm. We'll leave it at that. A week later we went as a family to the Polynesian Cultural Center and went on their "Haunted Lagoon Ride". Apparently this was scarier and more fun than the one he went on earlier. The two younger boys were terrified. I'm still deaf in one ear from Landon screaming and Grayson was permanently folding inward onto Les' lap. He just kept saying, "Tell me when it's over!!" He didn't see much. (He reminds me of me!! NO scary stuff for me.) Mitchell had a blast.

He is now a priest and has blessed the sacrament for the last three Sundays. I am so proud of him being worthy to hold the priesthood. I see a missionary in training. I have to pinch myself sometimes when I think of how soon that will be for him.

Needless to say, I'm proud of my boy. He's fun to be around, witty, smart, adventurous and a complete teenager. Couldn't ask for a better son, faux-hawk and all.

Thoughts on Gratitude

I have been concentrating daily on gratitude. It seems to be the best antidote for overcoming the natural tendencies of man to feel sorry for themselves, especially when they are going through difficult times. I know I have handfuls and handfuls of blessings to be thankful for, and as trite as it may seem, November is a great month to share those thoughts of gratitude. I love this month. I remember so many Thanksgivings spent in the kitchen with my mother and grandmother. I can still close my eyes and smell the aroma in her kitchen, hear the sounds of laughter and clanging of pots and pans. I see her hands soapy and wet as she moves from one dish to another, happy to be presenting such a feast to those she loved. No wonder this is my favorite holiday. With memories like this, how can it not be. Now, I LOVE to fill my home with friends and family. With us being so far from our own families, our friends are like family and we have had many wonderful feasts. It doesn't seem to have the same umph for me without the house brimming with loved ones. It has become a tradition in our home to have multiple pies. It seems each year when I think I'll scale down, my family (Les AND the boys) give me that; "But what about .....?. How can I possibly skip their favorites? Anyway, I thought I'd share some daily thoughts of gratitude this month and maybe some of what we are doing to prepare for that festive day of laughter, love and FOOD!!

Today my heart has been grateful for mothers. I don't know of a simple word that has as much of a profound effect on my essence. It's a word that conjures up hopes, laughter, safety, forever, love, belonging, encircling arms, cooling hands and warm expressive eyes. Today I am grateful for my mother. I can't imagine a more noble woman to be proud to belong to. Even now that she's been gone for 18 years, she is my rock, my example and my best friend. I miss her every day. I am grateful that families are forever and I am forever her daughter. I am grateful for my mother in law. Funny, it was seeing her sign an e-mail to me as MOM that started my thoughts of gratitude about that word. I know she loves me like a mom and I am grateful to have that in my life. She is all those words and more.

Here is my favorite poem on motherhood. I pray I am instilling in my three sons those same special feelings as they are growing up. I have no greater mission on this earth than to be their mom. They make my life have so much meaning. I truly am blessed to be called MOM. So the circle continues.

The Warrior

This morning my thoughts traveled along

To a place in my life where days have long since gone

Beholding an image of what I used to be

As visions were stirred, and God spoke to me

He showed me a Warrior, a soldier in place

Positioned by Heaven, yet I saw not the face

I watched as the Warrior fought enemies

That came from the darkness with destruction for me

I saw as the Warrior would dry away tears

As all of Heaven’s Angels hovered so near

I saw many wounds on the Warrior’s face

Yet weapons of warfare were firmly in place

I felt my heart weeping, my eyes held so much

As God let me feel the Warrior’s prayer touched

I thought “how familiar” the words that were prayed

The prayers were like lightning that never would fade

I said to God “please, the Warrior’s name”

He gave no reply, he chose to refrain

I asked, “Lord, who is broken that they need such prayer?”

He showed me an image of myself standing there

Bound by confusion, lost and alone

I felt prayers of the Warrior carry me home

I asked “Please show me Lord, this Warrior so true”

I watched and I wept, for Mother… the Warrior—was you!

Thank you to all the Mother Warriors out there, especially my own.

I'm Giving It a Shot!

Never in my wildest dreams did I think I'd do a blog. Then we moved to Hawaii. I guess there is some merit to blogging, especially when you are far from those you love. This blog will be part of my attempt to still be connected to those precious people and to let them have a glimpse into our lives. My boys are growing so quickly. I am not sure where the time has gone. So, here I will share pictures of them, their stories, and a bit of myself. A list of my FAVORITE books is there and open for discussion. I LOVE doing that!! I may share some FEARLESS LIVING moments. Those are so important to me.

Today I thought I'd catch you up on some fun pictures of the boys this summer. They have had fun at the beach and at our friends the Bishop's pool. Enjoy!

Les still proving HE's the Man. Mitchell keeps testing that. Must be a testosterone thing.

Mitchell the Merman coming out of the water. He saw sting rays on that snorkel run.

We had to laugh and this one. He looks

handsome and like he's trying out for a lifeguard TV show. Not on my watch!! This picture reminds me a bit of my dad. Something about the face. Cant' believe this is my oldest. 16!!

This is my Landon. I caught this without him seeing me. He was sitting in a yoga pose "meditating" to the ocean. This is so him. I love that he is just himself. I never know what he'll do or say, but I CAN count on it being original, creative, thought provoking and more often than not FUNNY.



Here Landon is coming out of the water. His face is maturing. He's in that middle stage between kid and young man. He's 11 already. I still see my little boy in his face. That special twinkle in his eye.

OK, miracle I got a picture of Grayson without his face mask. He LOVES the water and has become very adventurous in it. Les takes him snorkeling and they have seen huge turtles, beautiful fish and pretty coral. He brings me "treasures" after each adventure. He's so cute. I could eat him with a spoon!!

This was a huge milestone for our family this year. Our baby was baptized!! That was such a tender moment as a mother, to see that all my children had become Christ's and accepted that huge commitment. At his bishops interview, he sat up so straight and looked so serious. Each question was met with an earnest answer and afterwards as we were walking to the car he looked up at me and asked, "Mom, did I get the answers right?" He was so worried he wouldn't pass. I don't know of a child who was more ready and aware of what he was doing. My little Nephi. (He calls this "Bathtized" I love it!!)